About Marcopohoto Upshaw of Second LifeMarco's Big Adventure, Part 1My Own "Big Cannon" Blast?
In this first posting of his funny "So Marco, where have you been the last few days, in jail?"This was asked of me last Friday January 8, 2010 at lunchtime, by one of the gals that live in my "supportive living" apartment building. In JAIL? S'CUSE ME? I asked her. "Oh Marco, I'm joking, lol. I just did not know where you'd been the last few days."So, I told her all about what had happened... Last Tuesday, I became dizzy, blacked out and fell in the elevator of my building. No, I DON'T drink.. or smoke for that matter. This was definitely unexpected and a BIG surprise. To be completely honest, I thought I was dying....thought I was having a heart attack. But, you know me, Mr. "Melodramatic," Mr. "Drum roll please;" Mr. "Go out with a Bang." And knowing this is my nature, then I should have realized right then that this was NOT the BIG cannon blast I had feared, but just a firecracker pop. Now before proceeding let me fill you in on a few details about me. First, I am a dashing-older-man of 108.In fact, a nurse is helping me stand up in my walker right now so I can "shake it." I mean, she is helping me to shake my Depends-wrapped tushy. Haha, just joking! If you have read the 1st Life window of my Second Life profile you know that I am an old, old vampire of 575... born in 1435. However, I WILL say that I was 54 when I was first "turned." (I am now 56.) Alas, even vampires get old and broken down...just watch the movie Daybreakers and you will see. I am disabled and have been on full disability for nearly ten years. I won't bore you with all the details right now. I'll wait and bore you another day; bad-dump ump.After a hellacious summer in 2009--again, another long, boring story--I found a "supportive living facility" in Chicago that I qualified to live in. Essentially this means that I turn over all my disability income from Social Security to a supportive living corporation. In turn, they provide me with full room, board, meals, laundry, medical supervision, and some activities. They have a nurse on staff all day, and Certified Nursing Assistants (CNA's) on staff around the clock to give us medical supervision. Part of their responsibility is to just "be supportive" and let us keep our lives interesting in a manner that suits ourselves.. i.e., it is my choice as to what I do from day to day; full independence. Most of my excitement comes from trying to figure out how to live on the $90 bucks a month they allow me to keep from my Social Security check.However, I must say this is a big step up from the last place I lived at... a nursing home. The nursing home let me keep just $30 a month. So definitely I am now "Moving on UP, to the East Side!" (what was the name of that tv show? the Jeffersons? yeah, that was it).But anyway this is a decent place to live. Pretty good food, and most important of all, PRIVACY. The nursing home was a total nightmare, and the subject of another "About Marco." Suffice it to say, at the nursing home I lived in a sliver of a room, with a roommate, and had -15 PRIVACY. Meaning on a scale of 0 to 15 on the privacy scale, the nursing home allowed me a minus 15. "Oh sir, I'm sorry, I did not see you holding that big summer sausage in your hands...I actually kept count, and found that on an average day, various staff walked into my room, unannounced, 15 times a day. "Oh sir, I'm sorry, I did not see you holding that big summer sausage in your hands. Keep right on massaging that thing, I just stopped in to empty your trash!" *wink! Finally, at THIS new place I have my own bedroom, with a door, inside my own apartment, which I share with a roommate (I share the apartment, not the door.) It is not perfect, but compared to the nursing home, it is Shangri-La.But I digress. I was telling you about my "faux cannon blast" of last Tuesday.So what happened was, I had gone down to eat lunch. While eating I had felt this strange "fluttery" sensation in my chest... as if my heart were trying to run away from the food going down my throat. This surprised me because, hey the food is not perfect, but it is not THAT bad! It is really very good. So I wondered why my heart was making such an energetic attempt to leave my chest. But it calmed down after a few minutes.I finished eating, stood up, walked about ten paces, when suddenly a "wave" of dizziness swept over me. It was not really dizziness, but a feeling that I was beginning to lose consciousness. I grabbed the back of a chair for about 30 seconds until I felt better. I resumed walking out of the dining room, and was halfway to the elevator, when a BIGGER wave hit me, and this time I rested against the wall until I felt steady. Again, the odd feeling went away after a minute. I remember thinking to myself, "Is this it? Is this my BIG day to 'check out' from the land of the living?" but again it cleared up quickly. I resumed walking to the elevator, hopped on, and hit the button for the fourth floor. I was talking with another guy on the elevator, when suddenly...this TSUNAMI of blackness swept over me... the biggest wave yet. I slumped backwards against the wall. I remember everything going black in my peripheral vision... all I could see was the elevator wall directly in front of me, with the distinct, odd sensation that my field of view...my life...was being eaten away from the sides. Finally all I could see was a small circle of view directly in front. I remember thinking, "Uh oh, is this It? Has my own 'big cannon' come to blast me into the sky forever?" All this happened in about one tenth of a second.BOOM! I was on my ass in the elevator.I'd blacked out for a second, my legs flew out from under me and I'd been dumped unceremoniously on my big butt. Figures, the "clown prince" of jesters falls on his ass! At least the crucial humor receptors in my cranium had been spared! Next thing I knew, the awsome CNAs in my building were helping me off the elevator, and the firemen from 911 arrived. They took my vitals, informed me that my pulse was 145 a minute, and that my blood pressure was 165 over 92. They buckled me onto a cart and wheeled me out to the the amblance. Swiftly I was on my way to the emergency room. By now fully conscious, I remember being reprimanded by the ambulance crew for coughing with my mouth open! Just think of that! Here I am half dead, and I have "my wrist slapped by the teacher" for coughing with my mouth open!A couple of minutes later I arrived in the Emergency Room, was admitted to the hospital, and ...after two days of heart tests the results were... NO results. Apparently I don't have a heart. :-)LOL, no, after two days of heart tests, they concluded, nope, I had NOT had a heart attack, just a little blood pressure hiccup.... or so they hope.But the story of THAT craziness will have to hold until part two of "PeeWee Herman's Big Adventure" WAIT, OOPS, wrong comic, make that Part 2 of "Marco's Big Adventure!" Sheesh we have to keep our comics straight, (said tongue-in-cheek, because who cares if our comics are straight or not?) *** --Marco
What is YOUR opinion or comment--or similar experience? Please tell us!
Hello Friend! :) I bet you have an opinion or comment about this article topic. You PROBABLY have some related stories of your own to share too. Will you tell them to us? We would love to hear them! What Other Visitors Have SaidClick below to see contributions from other visitors to this page... HMMM, I got you my Pretty. Yes, I tracked down this silly man, trapped him in my love and MADE him partner me! Actually, I just fell for his sense of humor and the way he writes....
Rikki Waco says...remove me from your spam....cause he/she apparently can't read!
my name is rikki waco.. i have tried to get you to stop spamming me with no luck maybe you might read this and take my name off your spam list. YIKES! that is quite a story there Marco! Wow, that is quite a story there Marco. I am glad that you are ok. I have had that flutter myself and felt like I was going to pass out. I was having BP ... The above story was written or compiled by... Marcophoto Upshaw, SL primary avie MarcosSLHumor Baum, SL business avie Mark Edward Lodge, USA, RL avie :-) marco_photo@yahoo.com Skype Id: Marcophoto.Upshaw Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes!Read all about it today in Marco's Second Life Humor site at: Copyright 2008, 2009, 2010 all rights reserved,
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