Something happened recently that really had me chuckling. My baby and I were having a nice romantic dance together at the Apollo Gardens when we began to notice how "newbie looking" the place was. What I mean is that the crowd dominating the dance area had the unmistakable look of "noobs."


If you have been in Second Life more than a month you know what I am talking about... pasty-faced cartoon characters that look about as close to a Real Life person as say comparing the looks of Angelina Jolie to Marge Simpson! One looks like a sensual, erotic real person from the real world, and the other like a flat, two dimensional, pasty-faced cartoon character.

My girlfriend and I have uber-nice avies. We've invested the time and spent the big bucks to buy good-looking skins, shapes, hair, animation overrides etc, so our Second Life Avatars look as close to photorealistic as possible.


My baby is a real stunner, with brilliant green eyes set off by a darkly-toned skin. She looks to me like an Egyptian Goddess, with emerald eyes... bright green. I myself have the build of a bodybuilder, i.e. a six-pack barrel chest with arms, biceps and shoulders as thick as tree trunks. Over-all they have a chiseled, ripped, muscular look. Further, my SL skin is darkly toned as befits any male of Mediterranean-type parentage. The name, "Marco" must be Italiano, right?


My honey actually helped me pick out the skin so you KNOW it is HAWT. In fact when we were done she said, "Oh no, what have I done? You are so GOOD LOOKING now, that you--or I--will have to beat the women off you with a stick!" I told her, naah honey, I yubs my bayayby, but if you DO beat me, make it hurt good,will ya *wink?

So the contrast between us and the pasty-faced noobs in the room was quite noticeable. That's when I started chuckling, as I compared our avies to theirs, and remembered what it was like when I MYSELF was a pasty-faced noob. I remember how back then we held the good-looking avies in great awe, and stood well away from them. We didn't dare talk to them, in fact, we cringed before them as if they were gods.

Marco the Noob, August, 2007

This reminded me of an experience I had years ago, as a Freshman in the locker room after p.e. class (Physical Education) in high school, watching with amazement as the Senior men came trudging out of the showers after their football practice. We freshman were all skinny little runts, with high voices and no hair. Well, yes, we had hair on our heads, but nowhere else, certainly not in all the places that counted! We are speaking here of pubes... pubic hair, and hair on our chests and backs.

It was the rite of manhood for adolescent males to gape at the "older, mature men" in the locker room when they walked out of the shower, having just patted-dry their springy dark mounds of bushy pubic hair. They seemed to be announcing proudly to the sad little-boy crowd of freshman, that THEY were now experienced MEN. "Don't mess with US, kids, HARUMPF!"


Now that I am an old fart in my 50's, it seems really funny that we looked up in awe to these gangly 18-year-old young guys and considered them to be "real men."

And the rite of passage for a "hulking" he-man Senior male was to display, for all the skinny pre-adolescent freshman runts just out of grammar school to plainly see, a thick patch of dark pubic hair around their c***s, and a forest of hair on their chests and backs. None of us pip-squeaks dared approach or even breathe in the presence of these legendary, "Gorillas in our Midst." Our mouths hung slack in awe.

This funny thought was brought home by a famous cartoon of Gary Larson's of The Far Side comic strip. (Yes yes, to really understand my flair for humor you need only bone up--pun intended--on such hefty reading material as "Dave Barry Reaches 50," and The Far Side. I fell in looooove with the dry witty humor of Mr. Larson.

This very funny cartoon aptly portrayed the angst of the skinny, small, near-hairless pre-adolescent Freshman boys. It depicts some skinny, black-furred pre-adolescent-apes sitting on a bench in the locker room. Their jaws are gaping in awe at the hulking line-backer-body of an adult male gorilla sitting next to them. They are commenting on the obvious marker of his adulthood in the whitish fur on his back, saying of him, "My god, look at him, HE'S a Silverback!"

So now I have come full circle in my Second Life Appearance. In August 2007 I started as a pasty-faced cartoon character, standing back in awe of the "silverbacks" of the Second Life avatar world with their oiled, chiseled, muscular, photorealistic avatars looking like bodybuilders. And now? WooHooo! Now I AM one! Sure, this look isn't for everyone, but I do think I look a leeeeetle better than Marco the Noob.