A grand new advance in our Second Life Appearance allows us to see Beautiful Bouncing Bewbies through the new Emerald Viewer!

Every now and then programmers make an advance in software coding that sets the high standard for all new applications in that field for years to come. Other programmers limp along making petty changes, ballyhooing them as the greatest advances since sliced bread... changes like Zindra in Second Life. But THIS advance causes all to pale by comparison. I am speaking of the Beautiful Bouncing Bewbie settings of the new Emerald SL Viewer 1.23.5(950) formerly known as the Greenleaf Emerald Viewer.

After two years on SL watching bewbies that have all the natural grace and movement of granite boulders jutting from a cliff wall, I can now see breasts that heave and jiggle with every step. It will revolutionize strip clubs everywhere in Second Life. Amazing. Simply amazing!

No longer do strippers have to suffer the shame of rock-hard tatas as they gyrate their sexy pixels on the slick, hard, wet, phallic symbols at the Sex-Me-Up Nightclubs. NOW, they can slither down their poles with natural looking bewbies that sway like melons of Jello at a Slinky race.

Such an advance in stripper technology in Second Life is truly breathtaking. When I first saw them on a little honey by the name of Romany, well, I must tell you I could hardly get my breath. With every gyration and step her breasts heaved up and down in an almost totally natural manner. My eyes were locked on her chest like a tractor beam catching an asteroid. Of course, that is a normal state of existence for Marco, but THIS was truly jaw dropping.

Never has my wallet suffered such a mind numbing attack. Like a man walking in a trance I found myself recklessly grabbing wads of cash and flinging them at her without even looking down; my eyes never left her heaving melons. I could have been hurling 100's, 20's or even Wall-mart receipts at her.

But as all bewbie surgeons know, you have to do a little "tweaking" to bring out the best...uhm... tata effects. Here is how you do it. Listen up grasshopper, I will lead you step-by-step through the fine art of tweaking your Emerald Breast viewing settings.

1_If you don't want to take the chance of someone stealing your Second Life password or reading your IMs, then first READ THE CAUTIONS on their download page.

2_Download the Emerald SL Viewer 1.23.5(950)

4_Read the installation instructions. If you jump in and do it YOUR way, don't yell at me when it won't work! Yes Virginia, it IS a bit tricky.

5_After you install it the RIGHT way, open the Emerald SL Viewer to Second Life.

6_Once you are inworld, ignore my step by step directions, and run around checking out all the bells and whistles of this viewer like an A.D.D. schoolboy who refused his Ritalin.

7_Several hours later, after you've tried everything and still can't figure out how to see the wonders of the Bouncing Bewbies, come back to this list and follow my "tweaks."

Ready? Almost there, grasshopper...

8_Go to the top menu, and open your Preferences.

9_Go to the bottom of the menu, click on Emerald.

10_ IGNORE everything else, and click on Page 2.

11_Right under the Page 2 tab, look for the Effects tab. It is ABOVE the pastel colored blocks. Click Effects.

12_Ahhhhhh now you are in the Promised Land! Put a check mark in the top box, Enable enhanced physics on avatar breasts.

13_Almost there grasshopper, you are about to enter Nirvana! Slide the top three sliders to 100... Breast Mass 100. Breast Rebound 100, Breast Max Vel (velocity) 100.

14_Slide the last two sliders all the way to the left, to 1 (one)... Breast Friction 1, Breast min vel (velocity) 1. (Marco extends his thanks to Melza Polik for these settings.)

Yes yes, I know, you don't think you should go to these extremes. But grasshopper, Second Life is ALL ABOUT extremes! Just do it our way to get started. Later, after you have seen the effects, you can go back and tweak it to your little heart's content. (and, compared to your massive SL bewbies, your heart IS little!)

15_Finally put a check in Enable New Shiny rendering. I have no idea what this does, but we all know that Shiny means Sexy in sl.

16_Click Apply, then click OK. If you don't do this then SL assumes you did not know what the hell you were doing, and didn't really mean it. Click, click, DONE!

17_Finally, you may have to restart the viewer to make it work properly. Supposedly you don't have to restart, but as we all know, this is Second Life, and NOTHING works "properly" here.

Restart your Emerald SL Viewer.... now, hold your breath, look on in wonderment, click login and prepare to be astounded watching the Beautiful Bouncing Bewbies of Second Life!