In the strange world of Second Life Fashion "Beauty Contests," we often hear: I NEED YOUR VOTE NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW CUZ
THEY WILL PULL MY ARMS AND LEGS FROM MY TORSO IF YOU DON'T COME RIGHT NOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
{Editor Marco's Disclaimer: The statements in this article are not intended as a "slam" against the beauty industry in
Second Life...but a "slam" against the beauty CONTESTS in the Second Life Fashion industry. Really, they are not beauty contests at all, but
are popularity contests. Besides, my job is to exaggerate facts in order to bring out the humorous kernel of truth about
various aspects of life in SL. If I am not offending SOMEONE today then I am probably not doing my job.}
********
"Here she comes, Miss America........"
Do you remember the grand theme song from those old TV pageants? And so we are off
to the runway races with another zany blog from Marcophoto. This time we are talking about Beauty Contests (BCs) in Second Life.
What a strange duck they are aren't they?
I mean for one thing everyone in Second Life basically looks the same. Ok ok, so
that is not completely true...there are maybe 30 different avies, and THOUSANDS of variations of them. A slightly different hair
color or lipstick or eye shade; maybe the butt or bust on this one is bigger or smaller than that one. But the fact is that basically
they all look the same. I have a couple friends who make skins that are gonna hate me for saying so, but it is true.
During my time in Second Life, I have dated dozens and dozens of gals that all basically looked alike. In knowing them, the
differences were very evident; their personalities were totally different. But photo-wise? Sheesh I could have been dating identical sisters...
not TWIN identical sisters but the Dozenette
sisters... if there is a word for a dozen sisters that look identical. I should call them the Clozens; clones by the dozen.
So what IS the difference between
various avies
in Beauty Contests?
Honestly I think the main difference is in the way the
photographer presents them; the camera angles used, and the photoshopping done to the final picture. Beauty Contest PHOTOS mind
you, NOT the skins.
From what I can tell they really are not "Beauty" contests, but rather they are "Popularity"
contests. In the good old days BCs were decided by a panel of judges. But as we all know, Second Life Fashion contests are decided based
on the number of people you can motivate to come vote for you. Do you have a looooong list of friends and calling cards? Can you
work those cards bayayby? Get on the phone and start your calling! You can do it baby, you can win!
What I really hate these
days are
the contests that require you to PAY to vote.
What a SCAM!
So what if they are giving out 12 K to the men and 12 K to the
women. The sponsors can easily end up making a huge profit after the payout.
I went to one recently...having been "guilted"
into coming and when I arrived I found I had to pay 50 L to vote! I was so angry. Now, 50 L is nothing...a drop in the bucket. But
I felt like I had been tricked by my "friend." And I couldn't just turn around and leave because she was standing right there at
the voting site. In the end, I paid, voted for her, left, and deleted her from my list. What kind of friend tricks me into something
like that? "None" is the answer...not any who stay on my friends list anyway.
Please don't IM me and ask me
to come vote
for you in a contest!!!
Recently I decided to make it a policy to NOT vote in ANY contests....not BCs, not dance club contests, not
ANY. Shoot I was getting two a day for awhile there. I'd be deep into writing a blog and some sweet-young-thang would beg me to...
"PUHLEEEEEEZE COME VOTE FOR ME RIGHT NOW, IT IS MOST DESPERATE, I NEED YOUR
VOTE NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW CUZ THEY WILL PULL MY ARMS AND
LEGS FROM MY TORSO IF YOU DON'T COME RIGHT NOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"
And so she would guilt me into dropping MY important tasks to run
off and save HER arms and legs. Can't have them running around SL without any limbs now, can we? *sly wink.
Ohhhhh the heartbreak of limbless beauties rolling around SL on their torsos! They look like tumbling tumbleweeds as they blow
in the wind, bumping and twirling end over end along the sl landscape. But *sigh* we would still have the BCs even then. Before
long they would be begging us to come vote for them...
"CUZ IF YOU DON'T THEY ARE GONNA PULL MY HEAD FROM MY TORSO AND THEN WHERE
WILL I BE? WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Coming soon to a BC near you, the Contest Hawker will be hollering:
"But Wait, there's more! Vote now on this limbless beauty, and we will DOUBLE your purchase! That's right if you send in just
$19.95 we will DOUBLE your cutiepetutie contest winnings! You will save TWO cuties from losing their beautiful heads. AAAAAAnnnnnd
You'lll also get this handsome cutie carrier."
"Oooohhhhh AAAhhhhhh" the crowd roars.
Act NOW and we'll send you this handy carrying case!!!!!!
"You'll get this set of twin baby strollers, to roll your limbless
beauties around in alllll day long...Just think, you can save two limbless beauties from having their heads pulled off, and then
push them around sl in this matched set of twin baby strollers!"
But that has all stopped because as I said, I refuse to go vote in contests. So if you see an avie torso bumping across the
tarmac without a head or arms or legs... well that is one of the avies I REFUSED to vote for...it's all my fault...
"Ohhhhh the heartbreak of
limbless avies!"
Where do I come up with this stuff? I am a very very sick man....now if you will excuse me I have a blog to write, and NO I
will NOT come vote in your contest...
...so you better just learn how to get
around SL by rolling end over end.
--Marco
ONLY IN SL...can we have this much crazy fun! :-)
Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA
marco_photo@yahoo.com
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Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a friend or two? Just copy/paste the paragraph below to a friend. Thank you so much!...
Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes! Read all about it today in Marco's Second Life Humor site at:
http://www.marcos-second-life-humor.com/
YOUR Comments On The Above Story, HERE.
What is YOUR opinion or comment--or similar experience? Please tell us!
Hello Friend! :) I bet you have an opinion or comment about this article topic. You PROBABLY have some related stories of your own to share too. Will you tell them to us? We would love to hear them!
You can leave your comments, opinion, story, and even related pictures of your own.
We can't wait to see them!
--Marco
Marcophoto Upshaw
