Second Life Romance: How To Flirt in Second Life #3; SL's Top SportYes, Second Life Romance really does involve a very popular sport! This funny account details the "rules of the game." Heyyy battah battah battah! I'm one of those rare guys that really is not into sports. Football is ok, if the hometown team is winning, Hockey...watching the fights and brawls can be fun. Nascar? Groaaaaan, But there IS one sport I truly am nuts about: "Hey, battah, battah, battah...Hey battah, battah, battah,....Batter Up!" Am I speaking of America's favorite, sport, Baseball? Close, but "no cigar." Nope, I'm speaking about Flirting in Second Life ®. I luuuuuurrrrrve to flirt. And today I am going to instruct you on how to "bat one out of the park." Now, previously, you may recall I spoke of "First Base Flirting." Ahhh the light begins to dawn. Interesting, isn't it how we often refer to the art of making out as "Getting to first base, second base, third base, and a HOME RUN!!??!! All are baseball terms. Actually this interest in the "sport" of "scoring a run" starts verrrrry early, whether we care to admit it or not. Most of us remember the childhood jingle. "Marco and Janey, sit-tin-in-na tree! K*I*S*S*I*N*G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in-na ba-by carriage! Ahhhhh Janey, my first flirt...I remember her well...mmmmmmmmmmm. But we were only, what, 5 years old? I bet she looks a LOT better now, though I kinda doubt she would sit in a tree, kissing me... she would have to be about age 54 now? THAT would be quite a sight, the two of us old geezers "sit-tin-in-na tree! K*I*S*S*I*N*G!" So First Base Flirting is the art of making a gal laugh. Once you get her to laugh, fellas, you are ON FIRST BASE! And of course she must be laughing WITH you and not AT you. Needless to say, marching up to her, staring at her chest and saying, "Nice tits, wanna f***?" will NOT give you any chance whatsoever of getting her to laugh WITH you. More likely she will slaap you or call for security. STEEERRRIIIIKE OUT! But of course, loooong before you even start your run for first, there are some other requirements. Before I get into that, I must warn you that these affairs of the heart can be a bit confusing. Like Duh? Right? Lol, I am just warning you because at this point my baseball analogy is going to take a flipflop. Because before you can start your run for first base, FIRST you have to pitch the ball to HER. That's right in this game you are both the pitcher AND the runner. I know, it does not make any sense. But neither does love. Get used to it. So for today's installment on flirting, I am going to instruct you on the fine art of making the pitch. Not necessarily a fast pitch, mind you! The object is NOT to strike her out, but to lob the ball low and slow, so that she can knock it out of the ballpark. Keep in mind the farther she smacks your pitch, the more bases you can "run", i.e. the "further you will get." So here is how I do it. When I am on a dance floor, I "pitch a ball low and slow" by making a statement of some sort to my intended. And how do I come up with an appropriate statement? Ahhhh grasshopper, remember you are in sl land now. The answer is right in front of your nose, in the form of her profile, or her group tag, or a flip title....or even something she said in open chat. Rule #1 is ALWAYS READ HER PROFILE!!!!!! First thing, before you open your trap, ALWAYS READ HER PROFILE!!!!. Often you can find a world of useful information about the gal you want to pitch to right there...such as: "Oh, she's already partnered." Scratch her fellas. Yeah, sometimes you can get to first base with those, but do you really want an angry husband taking pictures of the two of you in bed and sending them to all her friends? It happened to me once, and after that I completely stopped dating partnered women (well mostly *wink). "Oh, she's bi-sexual or a lesbian." Scratch her fellas. Yeah, supposedly if they are bi you DO have a chance, but really, if she says she "prefers women" then you don't have a chance. Move on. Look for some statement in her pro that you can turn into an opening pitch. For one thing, she will be pleased as punch to see that you took the time to read her profile. Remember, that while YOU may have taken all of 5 minutes to throw something into your profile, we are speaking of a FEMALE now. And females are somewhat known for taking 5 hours to get dressed for a date now aren't they? So do you suppose she threw her profile together in 5 minutes? Nooooooooo, maybe in 5 hours, or 5 days. So if you base your opening pitch on something she said in her profile, believe me, you are paying her a high compliment and she will love you forever. So how do I construct an opening "pitch?" Simply put, I look for some statement in her profile that I can restate back to her in a provocative manner. Sometimes the statement will be in her group tag, or her "flip title" or even in her local chat. But always, I look for a statement that I can feed back to her in a provocative way. For example: (Pssst: all names have been changed to protect the guilty:) MsShiGurl was wearing a Group Tag that said, "Seduce me....." He winds up, annnnd here is Marco's opening pitch.....! 3:19] Marco: I'd love to. She responds: 3:19] MsShiGurl: what ? 3:20] Marco: seduce you. 3:20] MsShiGurl: ohhhh hahahah that's really kind of you WOO HOOO,....MARCO MADE THE PITCH....LOW AND SLOW, AND SHE SLAMMED IT OUT OF THE PARK, yes she laughed WITH Marco, he made it to first base, and the game continued..... 3:20] Marco: lol no "kindness" involved 3:35] MsShiGurl: lol my god you go straight to the point 3:36] Marco: lol, your tag...very provocative. 3:37] MsShiGurl: ohhh just my tag 3:37] Marco: just? you are too modest. 3:37] MsShiGurl: really ? 3:39] Marco: but of course... 3:40] MsShiGurl: awwww 3:40] MsShiGurl: SEDUCE ME PLEASE 3:40] Marco: lol 3:41] MsShiGurl: ^^ shy ? 3:42] Marco: haha I won't comment on the final outcome of that particular game, let's just say that in the course of the conversation that followed she asked to marry her three times, and the "game" continued on into the night. Here is another example of an "Opening Pitch" based on the gal's profile: MizDreamy's profile warned the reader that she could be "sexy, naughty, bitchy" Sooo here was Marco's opening pitch..... 3:29] Marco: so which is it...sexy, naughty, bitchy...or all three? Her response... 3:30] MizDreamy: hmm haha find it out for yourself ? WOOT! WOOT! SHE LAUGHED! MARCO RACES FOR FIRST BASE! 3:30] Marco: I KNOW the first applies. 3:31] MizDreamy: well ty :) lol brb phone :) 3:32] Marco: np 3:35] MizDreamy: back 3:35] Marco: you certainly are. 3:35] MizDreamy: hehe HE SLIDDDDDDEEEES INTO FIRST! MADE IT! Here is another example of an opening pitch fashioned from a profile. In this one, CutiePetutie referred to herself in her profile as being a "cheeky brat." So naturally, my opening pitch to her was: 3:34] Marco: "cheeky brat eh" are you speaking of you, or me? And she responded: 3:35] CutiePetutie: lol about me of course HE DOES IT AGAIN! HE DOES IT AGAIN! WOOOOHOOOOOOO HE TEARS OFF TO FIRST BASE! 3:36] Marco: hmmm could be me. 3:36] CutiePetutie: lol u a cheeky brat too? 3:36] Marco: most definitely. 3:37] CutiePetutie: yay for that :p 3:38] Marco: lol The next one is a bit different, here Ms. JuicySandwich made some deragatory remarks in her profile. Still, I managed to turn them around and use them to make a low and slow pitch to her, by merely QUOTING her own statements back to her: 19:12] Marco: "Dont be shy if you have any questions please IM me just dont be a dumbass." ?? 19:12] Marco: lol She responds with a question: 19:13] JuicySandwich: lolz do you have any questions dumbass? I counter: 19:13] Marco: I'd be a dumbass if I did. Her response? 19:13] JuicySandwich: ; wow, someone smart 19:13] JuicySandwich: about time lol SLAM! She cracks it out of the park and Marco speeds to first......Made it! Here is an example of an opening pitch constructed from statements I overheard NicelySaid making in open chat at a dance club. She was several meters away from me, and talking with some guy about the trouble with trying to communicate with people who spoke different languages. So, my "opening pitch" was: 19:49] Marco: then let us speak just the common language of love. 19:50] NicelySaid: lol funny 19:50] Marco: lol. who is joking? 19:50] NicelySaid: You must be. So what language of love are we speaking of? Every person has a favorite! 19:50] Marco: lol, I speak the language of flirtation. Her response? 19:51] NicelySaid: I already like ya WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!!!! 19:51] NicelySaid: lol I am VERY FLUENT in that. I teach the class at the local Y 19:52] Marco: me too...in fact, I am President of my local Flirters Union hall #59876 19:52] NicelySaid: oH DAMN 19:52] Marco: We are a "branch" of the International Brotherhood of "Wood Workers." 19:52] NicelySaid: Do you have like a secret service? 19:52] NicelySaid: LMAO...OMG I am only a lowly academic on flirtation 19:53] Marco: Yes, My Service is very Secret...."Undercover" you might say. 19:53] NicelySaid bows to the president 19:53] Marco: lol, no bowing. 19:53] NicelySaid: Ok 19:54] NicelySaid curtsies 19:55] Marco: lol a curtsie,...second one recently. 19:55] NicelySaid: You must be good 19:56] Marco: I would be a cad if I said, "So I've heard." So I won't say that. 19:57] NicelySaid: lol MARCO ROUNDS FIRST BASE AND HEADS FULL STEAM FOR SECOND! 20:01] NicelySaid: So you have a blog.. cool...Maybe I will subscribe... I could use some laughs 20:04] Marco: be glad to have you. 20:04] NicelySaid: have me? perv lol 20:04] Marco: that too. I have a lot of fun with the blog.... 20:05] NicelySaid: I would love to join 20:05] Marco: I'd love to have you....lol 20:05] NicelySaid: I am always looking for interesting things lol 20:05] NicelySaid: Now you are being redundant 20:05] Marco: would you like to see a sample? 20:05] NicelySaid: JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I LIKED YOU 20:05] NicelySaid: lol Sample? Sure 20:06] Marco: of the blog. sheesh. 20:06] NicelySaid: lmao Sure, I am always up for a sample 20:07] Marco: :) MARCO ROUNDS SECOND BASE AND HEADS FOR THIRD, CAN HE MAKE IT? 20:07] NicelySaid: So you are into vampirism 20:09] Marco: now and then. good clean fun. 20:10] NicelySaid: Good bloody fun, raises eyebrow and laughs 20:11] Marco: there ya go. 20:12] NicelySaid: OK so I LOVE YOU HE ROUNDS THIRD AND HEADS FOR HOME PLATE, IS IT POSSIBLE? 20:12] NicelySaid: lol, not in love.. but love your writing 20:12] NicelySaid: I like writing too... You are Fucking hilarious 20:13] Marco: haha thank you! CAN HE MAKE IT TO HOME PLATE, CAN HE? CAN HE? ..........SAFFFFFFFE!!!!" WOOT!! WOOT! WOOO!!!!!! So do you see grasshopper? Use your brain a little, and you will find that you can get soooo much farther with the ladies if you say something witty to them. It works sooooo much better than saying, "Sorry, I didn't hear you cause I was staring at your breasts." Trust me on this. --Marco Marcophoto Upshaw President of The Flirters Union Local #59876 A "Branch" of the International Brotherhood of "Wood" Workers ********* --Marco ONLY IN SL...can we have this much crazy fun! :-) by Marcophoto Upshaw AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA marco_photo@yahoo.com Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a friend or two? Just copy/paste the paragraph below to a friend. Thank you so much!... Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes!Read all about it today in Marco's Second Life Humor site at: http://www.marcos-second-life-humor.com/ ~~~ Copyrighted 2008, 2009, all rights reserved, except for Guest Writers, who retain their own copyrights, and whose materials are used by permission. What is YOUR opinion or comment--or similar experience? Please tell us!
Hello Friend! :) I bet you have an opinion or comment about this article topic. You PROBABLY have some related stories of your own to share too. Will you tell them to us? We would love to hear them! Click Here for Info On How To Advertise Your Second Life Business On Marco's Site FREE!
|
