Second Life Social Psychology
The Sick, Sniffly, Snotty-Slick Skirts of Second Life
Do sick gals follow an unwritten rule of Second Life Social Psychology, requiring them to travel ...sick, sniffly, snotty-slick... through SL in packs like sheep? Is there a sheep dog corralling all you gals together? It seems like every gal I know in Second Life is sick at the moment. Or has been sick, or for sure will be sick in the weeks to come. And a sheep dog is surely corralling them all together.
"Woof, woof, move your arses, into the sick pen you go,
Woof Woof!" and the sheep dog nudges all their butts
together through the gate into the pen.
Occasionally one of the ladies makes a bolt for it, "Nooooo not me! I'm too busy to be sick!" she yelps as she jumps over the side and makes a dash for the top of the hill. But "old Shep" is on her trail in a heartbeat. Nipping at her rear-end like she's a wayward sheep, he prods the gal back to the pen. "Sorry dearie, it's the rule. All ladies have to be sick at the same time." And with a final nip and a "Woof" ole Shep nudges "dearie" back into the pen.Yes, it is the rule. All ladies have to be sick at the same time. Every gal I know is sick. It starts with the sniffles, then the sore throat, finally she is in bed with a raging fever, all the while insisting "I'm ok, and besides, I have to make supper!" Like "Ooooh yeah honey, I just can't wait for a plateful of your sneezins!"
Sigh, have you ever tried to keep a sick lady in bed?
Impossible. "Break out the leather straps, boys, put her in 5 point restraints." And even when you fuss and insist and demand that she goes to bed, she will still manage to break free and sneak out for a little work.I should know. I used-to-be partnered to the most stubborn pinay in Second Life...Jade, dear Jade. No, a pinay is not a pineapple...though Jade definitely WAS sweet and delicious. "Pinay" is the slang term for a female from the Philippines. A male is a "pinoy." My dear Jade was THE most stubborn pinay....no...make that THE most stubborn FEMALE I have known at any time in my life...a true workaholic...but ya gotta love her. I certainly did, though I felt like an old, worn-out sheep dog trying to keep up with her and corral her into bed for some rest. NOOOO I was not trying to corral her into bed for some play time. Kissing a sick, sniffly, snotty-slick face is "snot" my idea of a "good time." Sorry, I couldn't resist!
Recently, Jade and I reminisced about those "good ole times"...
Jade... "Ha! Better snotty and sniffling than whining and groaning at our significant other as practically all men do... :P And anyway, I think i was entitled to be stubborn... after all, I WAS PARTNERED & MARRIED TO MARCOPHOTO UPSHAW!!!!! :P Muwahahahahahahaha!!! Cough cough!! Sniffles! Marco... JADE...go ahead and sniffle and snot all you want, I love ya just the way you are (or were he he)! Now, back to bed with you. *rebuckles her leather restraints...how did she get out of these anyway, hmmmm oh I see, the snot made them slippery, and she slid out.* Jade... *sneezes and spits on the restraints, watching as it slowly bubbles and melts away the leather straps* Aaaaahhhhh! Freedom again! Just in time, I need to vacuum the whole skybox... Marco... Groaaaan, hunnney, I'm sick.....*lays in bed, dying* will you come, hold my hand, and coo softly to me while I die? *watches the fluid drip off his nose onto the bedspread, wads up sheets to wipe his nose.* Jade... NOT ON THE SHEETS!!!!!! *Stuffs lots of Kleenex in Marco's hands...pulls Marco to her chest and strokes his hair* Awww... poor baby... let me tuck in under the sheets with you... Marco...*Oops, she CAUGHT me in the act! .....grabs sheets from further down, out of sight...BLOWWWWWWS.......covers icky sheets with other clean sheets.* Uhmmmm, honey, you better watch out for that wet spot when you slide in. *Note to self... use the kleenex instead of the sheets next time.*
Forget the beauty contests of SL... I think we need to have a Second Life Snotty-Face Contest.
Applicants have to be sick and still on their feet, working. That of course would totally eliminate all of us guys. WE hit the sack and cry out for our mommies the second a little water collects at the tips of our noses. Only women would apply. But the gals? Sheesh, they will have a fever of roughly 5010 degrees and STILL keep working. If a little one cries out "Mommy I'm cold," she will point the fan to blow across her body, keeping the house toasty warm on the coldest winters day! Precariously sitting on the edge of the sink she will wash dishes with her hands and fold laundry with her feet. Of course if she weren't being slowed down by her sickness she would get even MORE done.To qualify for this contest these sick gals will have to be actively sniffling...blowing wads of tissue....those disgusting little balls of wadded snot the gals keep in their hands for dabbing their schnozes. Each gal will be required to drag a 500 gallon trash bag around with her wherever she goes, throwing her gross wads of tissue into it. Finally, at the end of the day, the contest organizers will have the traditional "weighing of the bags".
The judges will hoist up her bag of snotties with a block and tackle...
...like they do a prized sailfish caught on the high seas with rod and reel. She will stand proudly next to her bag, with a beaming smile and a nose glowing red from all the blowing and wiping. Even as she stands there she will dab at it with a wadded tissue. A sign stuck to her bag will say "Catch of the Day, 2009" The press will ooh and ahh and take lots of pictures. And "Ms. Second Life Snotty-Face" will be crowned champion.Of course when the pictures are developed all you will see is her bright red nose glowing like a beacon. It could be used to guide airplanes in for landings. Forget Rudolph, we'll have "Ms. SnottyFace" to guide us! The Grand Prize for "Ms. Second Life Snotty-Face" ??? Two semi-truck loads of fresh, rose-scented quilted tissues, of course! ...approximately 15 tons worth. They ought to last "Ms. Rudolph" at LEAST a day or two!
Picture graciously provided by Ladybug Ruby, owner of "Designs by Jane Doe." Her Rudolph costume can be viewed either...
...here on her Xstreet Listings...
or
...here in her inworld store...(you must be logged in to Second Life to use this.)
Along these lines, I recently had this convo with my sick galpal friend, "MsBDSM Queen" (Names changed to protect the guilty.)...
Marco: still sick?
MsBDSM Queen: yeah hun - I need to get to my bed - feeling awful
Marco: Here, let me help you darling. *climbs into bed and pulls you in after him* snuggle up now, stay warm......there. mmmmmmmmm that's nice.
MsBDSM Queen: you tart, lmao
Marco: ...but you REALLY have to do something about your vomit breath......phew!
MsBDSM Queen: ewwwwwwwwwwww
Marco: lol, no kisses for YOU until you gargle, and just FAHGEDDABOUT french kissing, gag!
MsBDSM Queen: roflmfao
Marco: the ULTIMATE BDSM?
MsBDSM Queen: ??
Marco: "Go ahead hun, stick your tongue in there, trussssst meeeeeee"
MsBDSM Queen:eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Marco: LOOOOOL Your Secret Code Word will be: BARF!
MsBDSM Queen: EEEEEEEWWWWW GROSS!!!!
Fortunately, the sick times eventually come to an "end," as evidenced by the following conversation I had with my friend, Neko Girl, after she recovered from her "sniffly, snotty, sick-time".... Neko Girl: pounces and licks your nose
Marco: Heyyy, feeling better?
Neko Girl: MUCH MUCH MUCH better! I feel human again! lol
Marco: aww that is goood! *Marco feels her butt, "yeah, she DOES feel better!"*
Neko Girl laughs and wiggles in your hand
He he he.....in "the end" all is well. *wink.
So tell me gals, in the comment section, tell me some of things you did around the house the last time you were sick with a fever of 5010.Laundry?
Dishes?
Vacuumed?
Dusted?
Washed the Windows?
Shoveled snow off your sidewalks?
Painted the living room?
Built an extra wing onto the house?
And by contrast, tell us the things your man did while HE was sick. Enter them in this space: __. Thank you.
Let's have a laugh, together! Please leave a comment.
--Marco
"ONLY IN SL...can we have this much crazy fun! :-) "
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Marcophoto Upshaw
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The above story was written or compiled by...
Marcophoto Upshaw, SL primary avie
MarcosSLHumor Baum, SL business avie
Mark Edward Lodge, USA, RL avie :-)
marco_photo@yahoo.com
Skype Id: Marcophoto.Upshaw
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